Overthinking as always..

I have way too much on my mind for 11am and I can't even find the words to express how I'm feeling. How is it that someone can walk around acting like there isn't going to be a life altering event happening in his life soon? I'm freaking out.. my anxiety is going crazy and I can't control it. I just want him here with me to keep me calm until the big day comes, but that's too much to ask since we're not even together anymore. He missed out on experiences I wish he woulda taken advantage of. I've had people touch my belly and feel the baby move.. and to see the looks on their faces is just pure amazement, but seeing that look on other peoples faces isn't half as pleasing as it would be to see his face when he feels his baby move. I feel like I've gone through a lot alone, which I have, but how do you make him realize that all I need from him is to be there. It makes me wonder how much contact we would actually have if I never contacted him.. he never contacts me first. Alls I'm asking for is a call or even a text asking how I'm doing today or asking if I need anything, but no.. I get nothing. I don't even exist to him.. I'm just some girl walking around carrying his baby...