Wednesday, July 22, 2009


I'm thinking it's been way too long since I last posted.. and my good friend Lindsay informs me of how many people are following my blog and I give them nothing to read.. well here ya go fellow readers!

There's been a lot going on lately in my oh so exciting life. Not really exciting, but exhausting. I feel like I work non stop.. but I need the money badly in hopes to buy a house. I know I'm young, but in order to start my career, which is daycare, I need a house. Blah. Besides work occupying my life.. my baby is crawling.. all over the place!! I love that he can move around now and it's awesome watching him learn new things everyday. He explores, gets into everything, and follows you around like a lost puppy.. he amazes me. Now at a growing 7 months old.. going from sitting by himself, to crawling, to pulling himself to a standing position.. my baby is getting way too big and I'm realizing I need to take more time off work so I can cherish these moments with him before he starts walking and talking back. haha.

His father and I are still together, it's not perfect, but it's a learning experience trying to talk through our issues from our past. We bicker a little bit because we have so much history, sometimes I wonder if that could be our downfall. We've both done some shitty things to each other and the only thing you can do is move on from them instead of having resentment, but for some reason guys don't drop things as easily as girls and there's nothing I hate more than being reminded of my mistakes. I love being a family and every time we fight, I get scared. I don't want him to leave again, I remember that feeling.. and even though I made it through the first time, that strength was hard to find. I'm really bad at talking about how I feel when he says something that upsets me. I usually just shut down and put on this bitchy front until I completely breakdown. I wouldn't stick around in a relationship just because we have a baby together because that's just wrong, but you can tell we genuinely care for each other. I know it gets hard at times, but that's what makes a family stronger. We gotta learn to talk about the things we don't like when it happens, instead of holding it in til we explode.. it's not healthy..

Well that's my post for today.. xoxo