Friday, December 5, 2008

Where are you baby?

Today is December 5th.. my due date, but my baby is comfortably laying in my womb still.. content as can be. I'm convinced he'll be in there forever.. or at least until it warms up outside because he doesn't want to come out into this cold world. As frustrating as it is to have your due date come and go.. in a way, I'm kind of relieved. I'm in denial about going into labor lol I could probably be having the worst contractions ever and still have a smile on my face and say "no, I'm just having fake labor pains" haha. I'm terrified and nervous, but I want it over with. I want to see my baby and hold him in my arms. I want to hear him cry for the first time.. which will probably make me cry. It's crazy.. this whole time I wanted this pregnancy over. I've had pains and pressure to the point where I couldn't stand it anymore, but now that it's down to the wire.. I'm afraid for it to be over. Not that I don't think I can be a good parent and handle taking care of my baby, but it's just going to be weird not being pregnant anymore. Nobody wants to admit that they can't handle it on their own, but I will admit that going through pregnancy alone was tough and I know raising a child on my own is going to be a challenge at times too. I have friends and family that support me and are there to help when needed, but I like to know I can stand on my own two feet and still have the patience to care for my baby. I'm stubborn.. just like my little man has proven to be...

So as you can see.. I'm full of many mixed emotions about going into labor and having this pregnancy be over, but overall I know it's going to be worth it once I get to see my baby Aaden. <3

2 comments:

Lindsay said...

I'm excited bc if I get to be there I will be your coach! haha. But you aren't allowed to hold my hand because I'm afraid you may break it lol.

saveyoursoul said...

I'm so excited for you Ash! It's like I'll be coming home to a little snuggle Xmas present!